cracks

The broken lines of my body betray the words that drop from my lips.

I am strong I say.

I am good I say.

But the weight bears witness to the truth and all is not right with this world I inhabit. 

There are screams hidden inside my bones. 

They are seeping out of the growing fissures.

It will not be contained.

Ah love and the tricks it plays on a willful heart. 

Lessons not easily learned will never be forgotten. 

This I must believe.

requiem

The hunger spills across your shoreline, reaching inland, wave after wave relentlessly seeking your center

The longing branches skyward, heart first, head lost, arms open, waiting to be received

The distance and the silence and the wonder all conspire to hide me from the truth

The clawing at my chest, the ache seeping from my pores, every cell weeping

I am altered...

collapse

I have taken great care to organize and categorize to box it up and store it on a shelf but there were problems with the shelf it wasn’t quite strong enough there were too many boxes and everything has come crashing down landing square on my cluttered little head and the mess lies in crumpled mountains about my feet avalanches of antiquity tumbling past my ears into chaotic piles of destruction soon the broken cages will bury me becoming a new cage of broken parts and past failings to restrain me I need to retrain me I have forgotten so many things the remembering is all consuming a full time job for the unemployed adventurist how can I get to the apex reach the summit summon my demons for the purge how can I dive face first into tomorrow break open the doorway to beyondness to beyond this moment this moment of catastrophic proportions of atomic level abortions I can no longer see I am blinded by my self imposed limitations by low level imitations that speak the language of the common begging me to join throw my hands up throw my arms down give myself over to the lesser but I cannot I cannot I must wake from the nightmare shake off the despair drag one dead leg in front of the other and move forward always move forward

I belong

I belong to the ages of wisdom. I am a servant of the words. I belong to the night and the moon and the stars. I belong to the earth, the rich soil filling my lungs. I am taking root, watch me grow. I belong to the fragrant dance of the bloom unfolding in the afternoon sun. I belong to the sun, screaming through the trees. I belong to the trees, each single leaf in the moment just before it falls to its death on the grass below. I belong to the grass below, soft and damp underfoot. I belong to the damp darkness taking over my senses obliterating all light, wrapping me in this blanket of strange comfort. I belong to the strange, the forgotten, the lost and the lonely. I belong to my demons and their tricks. I belong to my own tricks. I belong to the circus, an animal performer slamming my face up against the cage. I belong to the spaces between the bars, the wide open spaces of breath and sighs and lovers. I belong to the lovers and their sweat, their sweet smelling sex dripping from my mouth. I belong to your mouth, your beautiful mouth, panting red cavern of desire. I belong to desire, to the burn. I belong to the raging fire of hearts beating wild, unrestrained. I belong to the wild, the weak and the wounded. I belong to the wound and the beauty leaking from it. I belong to the beautiful and the broken, bones and dreams. I belong to the dreams of the stargazers in a galaxy beyond. I belong to the galaxy, to the far reaches of alien fingers tickling the psyche of true thought thinkers. I belong to the collective, to the farm of ants smashed under a careless footstep. I belong to the footstep, the furious gate of frightened feet tearing through the under growth, chest heaving, gasping, grasping for a beacon of light to guide the way home. I belong to the monster chasing me. I belong to the monster chasing you. I belong to you.

the night

liquid black night touched by glittering eyes of angels from a million miles away

oh so enchanting this night
as though a shroud in which I wrap myself
a robe of twinkling velvet
draped across my shoulders
cascading down my back
adrift on the bouyant perfection of space

I feel this night watching me
as I am watching
studying each other's glory like lovers that
know no other face that
know no other touch

this night is mine
this night is mine
this night is mine
and I knew it would be
a vision brought to me
of still passion
and silent fire

I wait
and I wait
and I wait
for the stars to fall
from the sky
for the stars to fall
to the earth
and brush across my cheek
and dance through my hair
and gather at my feet
in a pool
of electric love
for me
for you
forever



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ornament

A horrible day it is indeed

When with mine eyes I clearly see

That which I proclaim not to be

Is exactly the epitome of me

purging ~ 2.16.10

This is an exploration an excavation if you will an unearthing of the useless an unloading of the dead weight keeping the secrets locked in the dark gives power away the light is restorative or at least that's what I've heard from the scholars that speak to me in my dreams who knows they might be lies manufactured to secure my fate as a pawn in the game of sheep herding doing the dirty work for the puppet masters or maybe it is the truth wouldn't that be delightful if the truth resided in my dreams but where would you go for answers