Monday, February 21, 2011

ebb ~ 11.7.08

I was feeling low and losery and wasting my life like and decided that Baudelaire may give me sweeter dreams so I picked a page and read of Cythera long and complex and beyond my knowing but ends with God give me strength to contemplate my soul and I was momentarily healed on the spot still willing to see what tomorrow brings not that I ever wouldn't want to see a tomorrow but it sounded good right so hello again the antisocial neurosis is on vacation or something or maybe it takes exactly thirty days to recover ones self after a terrorist attack on your/my psyche before Baudelaire remedied the six thousand four hundred and thirty fourth revolution of redundant broken brain that plagues the existence of my thinking thing I had probed the addiction vortex the hole that cannot be filled the hunger that increases when fed and pondered what exactly is missing that needs to be replaced but cannot and if you are prone to such things is it even possible to restore that which is absent or is the affliction permanent the pondering the contemplating the digging the aching the looking the searching the knowing


  1. it seems cruel but i think a lot of our journey is about reunity/isolation ...

    we're supposed to experience that dark night of soul stuff Chopra writes so eloquently of; what matters is what we fill the perceived gap with, how we treat that hollow hungry feeling?

    i dunno .... it ain't satisfactory but there seems no way to escape since adding layers of "solution" only intensifies ... bleh, i'm in a weird mood so don't worry if this makes no sense ... lol

    yes, read of Cythera (aphrodite ... love)

    low and losery - what a fantastic turn of phrase!

  2. I have never before seen my neuroses stated so plainly in black and white. Though the twists and turns are variable, the sentiment is the same and somehow, I don't feel so alone in the world. Thank you for that.

  3. forgetmenow ~ I wouldn't know what to do with myself without the dark night of soul stuff! There is a great deal of wisdom in this weird mood of no sense making that speaks right to my soul. Thank you for being here and seeing here!

  4. psychobillygirl ~ The gift of the neuroses is all of the voices to keep you/me company! You make my heart sing knowing this connects to you & it brings me much comfort. Thank you for that!